Handlebar, my moustache.

This is the first day for my handlebar moustache, as it grows, you will see it.  I figured it'd be just a testament to my manliness.

The Center of the Universe

I had an idea for a coffee-table book and I thought it was pretty awesome.  It combines both literary and photographic art and will be the most honest book you'll ever crack open.

It'll be called the "Center of the Universe," and it'll consist of a very simple formula.  I take pictures of my penis and I write poetry for the picture.  Now before your thoughts wander off I just want to clarify that these dick-pics won't just be some boring mugshots, because if that were the case I'd rename it "Gary Busey, the Legacy."  No, these pictures will be majestic.  Like my penis with a cowboy hat leaning on a railing watching the sun set. 

Marlboro Dick aside, I think this book would be a hit.  It has the every man appeal and also the coffee-table book collector appeal.  Not to mention, it'd really jumpstart my career as an edgy artist.

I had some time to myself and I decided to give a sample of a poem, the picture will come in a later post eventually, I guarantee.

Fierce and quick,

he's the first pick.

My penis rises above many,

transmits like antennae.

For as they say:

It is not the size of the boat,

at least I hope because I have a small penis and I'm extremely self-conscious.

Women in office

Just to preface this post, I wanna comment on black people and how much better than whities they are.

They run faster, please women faster, speak faster, etc. 

But what truly shows black people are much faster than us crackers is the passed election.  Think about it like this:  Women had a 200 year head start to make the presidency and the black man not only caught up to them, but surpassed them and won the primaries.

God.  Damn.

Obama ran some olympic presidency there, but that just goes to show you that women will always take a back seat to man.  Palin had it right, stick to the VP position.

That's why there is no WUSA, no female presidency for us to keep track of (or skip over when trying to find the real presidency on television).  D.C. is ours, ladies, I'm sorry.  Even the abbreviation for our capital has half of the letters from the word DICK.  You see, just like when Tina Fey became a lead writer for SNL the ratings sank.  You can't have a woman spear-heading anything unless you want it to crash and burn.  Morphius discovered Neo, not Nairobi.  Neo saved Zion, not Trinity.

What more evidence do you need?