Laid Off / Tornado

I think people are getting too riled up about things now-a-days.  I mean, it's cool to be passionate about stuff, but some people just get too angry.

Abortion.

I have no opinion whatsoever.  First of all, I don't have a vagina.  Secondly, I've never been in the situation (refer to the first point).  But, I do think the word abortion makes abortions seem much worse.  So, to settle people down, I suggest we switch the word with something else.  I propose we call abortions "getting laid off."  So, instead of getting "laid off" from your job you get "aborted."  Now you can redirect all your abortion anger at your workplace.

It works out for the better, you lose your job, you're pissed, and the fact you've been aborted doesn't help.  But your daughter, she just got laid off...  You can be a bit more sympathetic towards her.

See?  Little switches in our vocabulary can work wonders for the nation's mood.  We're still all heated over gay marriage, another thing I have no opinion for.  But, I understand both sides.  Personally, I don't think Christians hate gay people, I just think Christians assume gays are too new in society to be doing an old thing like marriage (someone forgot to remind Christians the homos love retro things).

So, why don't we switch the phrase "gay marriage" with the word "tornado?"  First, how cool of a word is "tornado?"  That's a steal for the homos.  Even I wanna get tornadoed and I don't even like cock.  So instead of Christians getting angry at gays getting tornadoed, they get angry at all the gay marriages in Gay Marriage Valley out in the midwest.

Tornadoes will be similar to regular marriages, just one minor difference:  No rings for your fingers.  Cockrings and pussyrings.

Why cockrings and pussyrings?  Simply because tornadoes mix things up.  The genders at the ceremony, the sex on the honeymoon, where the rings go, etc.  It'll all be mixed up.  That's why tornado is such a fitting name.

Not to mention...  Bill Paxton and Helen Hunt would probably attend huge tornadoes for big, gay Hollywood couples.