The people we hate.

I'm a slacker.  I admit it.  However, naturally bestowed "smarts" have launched me through high school and allowed me to score extremely high on my tests.  That being said, I want to address the hard workers who are always hating on me.  And for you I have this to say:

Fuck you and lick my balls.

I could really care less if anyone has animosity towards me.  The truth is...  I feed on it.  I'm a fucking fiend.  I'm likely evil.  Possessed?  Probably.  But I don't look too much into that religious voodoo nonsense.  All I know is that I'm clearly kickass at kicking ass and my balls are huge.  Give me a fuckin' break, seriously, you're going to go to college and party, get a degree and likely make way more money than I am.

See what I'm getting at?  You worked hard early so you could relax and enjoy your 20's.  I've basically said...  "Fuck it, I'm napping now and doing shit later."

Now when I graduate high school I'm going straight into the cutthroat world of entertainment.  I'm going to come across some slimy assfucks and dirty Hollywood types after my mojo; all the while my money will be extremely tight.

Now that I've justified myself to you douchefags, I suppose it's time for me to lay hard into some of the people -I- hate.

JK's. AKA Tools.

JK's are the people who aren't funny, will never be funny, but will never stop trying to be funny.  Some of you readers might be wondering why I call them JK's.  Well my answer is pretty fuckin' simple folks.  The first JK I ever met had the initials JK.  So now I officially label these unfunny turdmonkeys JK.  Redundant enough?

Most importantly about JK's are their ability to spread their bullshit into things we like.  Much like Dirty Kids, JK's tend to like the same things as you, hang out with the same people and even post comments you don't really want to read on your Facebook when you clearly dreaded adding them in the first place.

Anyway, here's a list of shit I hate about JK's.

1. "Dude it was so fuckin' epic!" One of the many overused quotes.
2. Pseudo-intelligence.  Yeah, they get good grades, but they got nothin' to show for it.
3. How pussy they sound when they use obscenities.  I sound like a man.
4. Their hopelessness with girls.
5. Their constant consumption of trendy bullshit.  Right now they all dress like fake frat dudes.
6. Once Kanye started rapping they all got on board and started listening to it.
7. Hang out with the cockteasing preppy gals thinking they'll get lucky.  (See #4)
8. Uselessness despite being called a tool.
9. They outgrow their cuteness.


You should be honored to be in my blog, J-daddy..

Questions Only.
People, I love talking about myself.  But I hate people who constantly question how/why/where I learned to do ANYTHING.

"How do you come up with blog material?"
"How do you think of jokes?"
"Where did you learn to act?"
"How do you profile people so well?"
"Where did you learn to eat pussy?"
"Why are you stomping on my puppy?"

I get it.  I'm fuckin' intriguing.  You wanna know how half of the shit I do starts?  By thinking.  Something none of the Questions Only populace do.  Stop asking so many god damn questions and start thinking for once, Christ.

But I suppose I have to thank you people for giving me something to write about.

Herpes.
The next group of people are called herpes because they don't go away.  They try to relate to you because they are so damn in love with your balls.  This person is insignificant, they lead a perfect life and nothing bad happens to them for them to make jokes about.  So they cling to you to laugh.

Do I look like a fuckin' clown?

If I had a gun, that'd be the line I say before I murder these people.  They stick around despite your ignorance to them and they even posture up beside you when more people come to speak to you.  They try to act like they know you well enough to answer questions for you.

Listen.  When I get married, my wife's soul purpose in life will be to speak for me because my mouth will be full.  Why?  Because she'll be feeding me perfectly grilled steak from her vagina.  If you don't have steak in your vagina, don't speak for me.

What irks me even more about all of the people listed above is their constant need to use big words around me.  I don't have a big vocabulary and even if I did, I try to communicate in a way that everyone can understand.  Not because I care, but because I want everyone to be insulted the moment I open my mouth.

So do me and all the other awesome people in the world a favor:

Get off our balls.

I'd say vagina too, but there aren't any awesome women...  Unless they have a steak in their vagina.