Dirty Kids

I'm graduating this year, but I don't feel all too excited.  My peers aren't the future, they can't be, and if they are I'm going to punch myself in the cock a few times over.  I look around my school, the mall, and even the various concerts and shows I attend and I see people my age with ridiculous piercings, dyed black hair, and horrible clothing.

 

No, they aren't goths, emo kids, metal-heads, or anything along those lines.  These people are "dirty kids."  The scum of the damn earth, really.

 

If dirty kids didn't exist, I wouldn't be a closet World of Warcraft player and I would be able to admit I like a few Metallica songs.

 

But I can't because of this stinky sub-culture.

 

Much like the theory in which parents make things "uncool," dirty kids essentially commit to the same mission of spoiling the good stuff for clean kids.  Because when you're talking about your level 78 paladin the last thing you need is for some kid with baggy UFO pants and a stained "Master of Puppets" shirt coming up and shitting all over the conversation by trying to associate himself with you.

 

Here are a few signs too look for when spotting a dirty kid.

• Thin, unmanly facial hair.
• Dirty or black dyed hair.
• Master of Puppets, Pantera, Slipknot, ICP shirt.
• Baggy, chained UFO pants.
• Naruto headband (optional).
• Excessive gaming talk.
• Liking bands "before they sold out."
• Horrible breath.
• Axe baths.