8/23/10

Swoo, damn!

As a pass-time, my uncle likes to take me cruisin' to look at women.  Now, typically when I go out and do this I'll give the occasional catcall or stop to talk to a woman. 

Not my uncle.

He just slows down and starts mumbling to himself sexually.  And 99.9% of the time it's one of these three phrases:

"I hope she has health insurance."  - This implies he'll fuck a girl so hard she'll be injured.

"Swoo, damn, I'd give her the ol' vertebreaker."  - This implies he'll fuck a girl so hard she'll have spinal injuries, specifically.

Or, my personal favorite, "What's up sloppy?" - Which is saved especially for a girl attractive enough for my uncle to bang, but a little loose.

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